White after the Ashes
by Roe Dusk
Summary: He hadn’t meant to follow him. And now he was gone. Sesshomaru isn't able to keep up his indifferent facade, but someone isn't about to let him fade away. OC warning. No romance. Inutaisho death in first chapter.
1. Fire

Ok, this fic is about Sesshomaru after his father's death. The details are based off of the movie Swords of an Honerable Ruler.

Sesshomaru will be OOC for this, because I'm writing this on the assumption that he's not internally as calm as he is externally, not even close, really.

That brings me to the other note; There is a major OC who you will meet in the next chapter, who is able to deal with OOC Sesshomaru without the younger demon hating him after he gets better. He is not really story altering, since this is uncannon time, but is very important to the story. If you don't like OCs, then you don't have to read, or you can just stop before I make him really important; I will try to put up a warning about his importance in each chapter.

* * *

**Fire**

* * *

Fire.

There was fire.

Why, why wasn't his father coming out. Where was he?

He couldn't breathe.

He hadn't meant to follow him, father had said he'd be fine when he'd suggested leaving him the sword for safekeeping, (hadn't he?). So why had he stood watching his father leave? Why, once he was out of site, had he suddenly taken off after him, and watched from the shadows as he stormed the castle? Where was he?

"Father…" he breathed, startling himself with the sound of his own voice.

Then he saw the woman come staggering out of the castle, looking back once with a face so lonely his heart froze. Then the bundle in her arms cried and she turned to it, turning away from the heat and rage to protect the new life.

He couldn't think, he just acted, loosing himself in the flames. He found what he was looking for in the hottest part of the fire. One hand was holding a sleeve over his mouth and nose as he searched the room, and he had almost turned to leave, when a screen wall snapped and fell to the floor. And he saw him…

His father was unmistakable, in his battle armor and perfect silver ponytail. He was lying facedown on the ground, a dead samurai collapsed at the other end of the small room. Sesshomaru couldn't breathe, smoke was pouring into his lungs now, but he couldn't register enough to cover his face again. Arrows and spears riddled his father's body, and the Demon Lord of the West wasn't moving to get away form the heat.

Not thinking about how he would explain himself if he was caught, the teen ran over, kneeling by his father to check for a pulse. His hand burned where is connected with the skin, and Sesshomaru jerked back with an involuntary gasp. He was dead, not even his father could survive that heat, not with his injuries. He didn't cry as he looked around, but only because his soot dried eyes couldn't and because he never cried… never.

Numbness fell over him as he began to loose oxygen, and he saw the swords arrayed around his fallen lord. A part of him remembered that he had once coveted them, but he wouldn't take them, not in exchange for his father's life. He couldn't expect to apologize that way!

Blinded and bordering on unconsciousness, Sesshomaru turned and ran from the building. This was a nightmare, he was loosing consciousness, and when he woke up it would all be gone.

He couldn't breathe… Why couldn't he breathe…?

His eyesight had faded to black and he felt himself collide with a tree. Sinking to the ground, he felt the absolute numbness setting in again.

He couldn't breathe.

And he never cried.

Never cried…


	2. Ashes

Sesshomaru wakes, and is in shock/denial/whatever you want to call it. I decided that demons who had been under his father would probably decide to test their luck against his heir to claim his title as the Demon Lord of the West.

OC arrives here, and he doesn't talk. In fact, I don't think he's going to talk for a long time. But he does begin leading Sesshomaru around after him to protect him from the demons who would be after him until he can get him back in his normal mindset.

If you're wondering about the 'blinding' Sesshomaru has soot in his eyes, but he hasn't noticed.

* * *

**Ashes**

* * *

When he woke, all he could see was white. A blinding haze blurred all colors into one.

He felt a hand brush against his head forehead, then a splash of water across his face. A few slow blinks, as his body processed since his mind could not, and he could see again. Blue sky peeped through green leaves. And yellow looking green ones around the edge, where the sun shown through them. They blew in the wind, and one fell off to trail out of his line of vision.

But he couldn't feel anything. He couldn't even think.

Not that he wanted to try.

A hand intruded gently into his line of vision, reaching down to brush away the watery soot that was still stuck to Sesshomaru's eyelashes. He didn't blink, but let the oddness of the hand in that scene be quietly absorbed by his absent mind. The hand retreated, and he felt it tap his arm gently. Following it's insistence, Sessohmaru sat up, moving as little as possible. He stared at the soft green in front of him, and the thick tree trunks that interpreted it.

Water was washed through his long hair, and then combed out silently. The wind blew softly then, and he felt his hair blow. The drying was not uncomfortable, so he closed his unfocused eyes, and simply breathed. His thoughts were starting to stir when he opened his eyes again.

The other sitting behind him had been quiet this whole time. Now they barely rested the tips of their fingers on his shoulders in a request to turn around. He shifted to face his caretaker. The man looking back at him was a wolf demon, and Sesshomaru found his eyes focusing and his brain waking up.

A white wolf.

He felt pain in the back of his mind but refused to follow that train of thought far enough to wake up; his father had not been a wolf.

The man seated in front of him judged his reaction and nodded slightly. Taking a cloth, he dipped it gently into the bucket in front of him. Holding it out towards Sesshomaru. Aware that he should take it, the teen did, watching the other calmly for a reaction. The white wolf gently pushed the hand holding the cloth up towards Sesshomaru's face, and the teen took the hint. Closing his eyes, he gently wiped the soot off his face. As an afterthought he wiped down his hands as well, not liking the memory clinging to them. The soot made flames dance before his eyes, and he closed them quickly, turning his head away.

The cloth was teased from his grip, startling him somewhat, then two fingers gently tapped his clenched fingers. Blinking and looking down, he saw the cup full of water that had been set on the ground in front of him. He nodded slightly and picked up the cup, realizing how thirsty he was as he drank it. When he put it down, he nodded his thanks slightly.

The white wolf looked him over before standing up to fill another cupful of water from the spring a few feet behind him. Sitting back down in front of Sesshomaru, he handed over the cup. Sesshomaru drank this one too, and felt his throat loosen.

"Thank you," he said, cooly as he could.

The White Wolf inclined his head, then turned his attention to Seshomaru's singed kimono, reaching over to finger the edge of the sleeve. Sesshomaru looked at it as well and sighed; the fabric was ruined by soot where it hadn't been burned, he would have to get a new one. His chest contracted painfully, but he refused to dwell on it. It would have to be changed, that was it.

The White Wolf nodded and stood slowly, packing the cup into the small bag slung over his shoulder and picking up the bucket. Tucking the bucket under his right arm, he looked back at Sesshomaru.

When the teen continued to stare into space without rising, White reached over and pulled on his sleeve.

Sesshomaru started and looked up. For a second his eyes betrayed him, looking like the lost child he had become. Then he focused on the figure standing before him and the dullness settled back into his eyes. He stood slowly and followed when White lead him away by the sleeve.

After a while, the wolf let go, and yet the child followed him, the only thing that made any sense to him right now. White looked away and sighed softly. Looking ahead into the deeper parts of the wood, he wondered how he could get the kid decently clothed and bathed without compromising his dignity. Glancing back at the blank eyed stare he felt his heart sink; saving him was going to be more difficult than he thought.


	3. Water

Sesshomaru has settled on referring to his caretaker as White, and that's why I kept changing how I referred to him in the last chapter. In this chapter, White is starting to help Sesshomaru recover, and turn into who we know today. But Sesshomaru is just starting to come out of shock, and isn't clamming up yet.

* * *

**Water**

* * *

White glanced through the traveler's wares tiredly, there was hardly anything worth buying. Catching a glimpse of white and red, he pulled that kimono out of the pile. It wasn't a flower pattern. But he couldn't really be too picky. So he paid the traveling merchant for the kimono, and gently wrapped it up so that it fit in his bag.

Returning to where he had left the sleeping teen, he bristled at the feel of demons nearby. They might not be a threat, but they could also be searching for the son of the Lord of the West to seize his title. Honestly, he couldn't tell if the young man was sleeping or back into oblivious mode, like he had been, on and off, for the last few days. Suppressing a sigh, White shook him gently by the shoulder.

Sesshomaru started, suddenly aware that he had dozed off, or at least lost focus on his surroundings. Sitting up quickly he almost collided with White, who had leaned calmly out of the way. Sesshomaru blinked, and reminded himself that he would have to be careful now that…

He stopped, and withdrew from that thought slightly.

But, suddenly, he realized he was standing, and he blinked at White.

The wolf lead him into the mountains, and, near noon, a hot spring emerged from rock. Sesshomaru almost fell into the hidden pool, to lost in thought to notice, but White had stopped him short with a hand on his shoulder.

When it finally registered, Sesshomaru looked over in shock, to see that White had already laid out a new kimono, and a towel for him. Sesshomaru watched as the other double checked everything, then headed back over the rim. Startled into action, Sesshomaru almost followed him, but forced himself to relax as the wolf settled into a seat, looking out away from the hot spring and the rock wall behind it, clearly planning to act as guard.

Sesshomaru hurriedly undressed and slipped into the spring, he didn't want to stay dirty any longer than he had to.

* * *

After scrubbing himself clean and drying off quickly, Sesshomaru slipped back into his clothes. It was hardest to pull on the new kimono, instead of the one he'd worn for so many years, but the almost identical pattern of red on white eased the passing a little.

He glanced at the singed sash in mild revulsion, but didn't have another choice, so he tied it around himself without thinking about it to much.

When he was finished, he looked up to see White still seated on the outer wall facing out. Sesshomaru froze, he'd have to call him, wouldn't he. The necessity of that act startled him awake, and he shook his head, to avoid his reality a little longer.

"I'm finished," He managed quietly, and, to his surprise, White heard him and turned to check before jumping down.

The wolf gathered up the discarded kimono without a word and slipped it into his bag, something that hurt to see, for some reason. Then he turned to Sesshomaru and gave him a small, sad smile, as he reached out and fingered the edge of his sleeve.

Sesshomaru blinked as White turned away. The wolf hadn't spoken, but for a moment he'd thought he'd heard a gentle voice say "It looks good on you."


End file.
